


Talk Me Down

by nabiillera



Category: BTS JiKook - Fandom, BTS KookMin, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-06-24 07:32:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nabiillera/pseuds/nabiillera
Summary: "If you don't mind, I'll walk that lineStuck on the bridge between usGray areas and expectationsBut I'm not the one if we're honest,But I wanna sleep next to youAnd I wanna come home to youI wanna hold hands with youI wanna be close to you"





	Talk Me Down

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Jimin-ssi~" Jungkook muttered, fully aware of the microphone clipped on him, the other members and the cameras and all the eyes trained on them. But he can't help it. Not when the person he desires to be with the most is right in front of him. Jimin on the other hand is not quite oblivious to this. He too knows and been holding himself back after countless of times they've been scolded by Namjoon and the management.

 

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

" _But how are we supposed to stay away from each other, hyung? We dance together, we perform together on stage. Every single day." The youngest tried arguing one time as they had a meeting with Bang PD and Namjoon. Jimin is just silent, trying not to fuel the leader's irritation even more._

_ "And what about the moments that we're not performing? You stuck to him like a bee on honey. People are not blind, Gguk-ah~ We're not asking you two to not interact at all but at least... at least try to tone it down. You know I do not have any objections about what the two of you feel, but please, for the team?" Namjoon looked up after having his face rested on both palms. _

_ "Hyung-" Jungkook started again only to get interrupted by Bang PD who's also been quiet since the meeting started. _

_ "Jungkook-ah, Jimin-ah... I can grant you all the wishes you can possibly have, given how far your team have reached. However, in turn I expect all of you to be responsible enough to notice when a small action can make a huge damage to what you all worked hard for." The producer stated in a steady non wavering voice but also tender like a father's worried for his sons. _

_ "They're right, Ggukie. We should... we should be more careful." Jimin seconded after a few seconds of silence. Nodding and glancing over at Namjoon who took a deep breath. _

_ "So you're agreeing that we cannot sit beside each other on most interviews? We can't stay together too long unless there's another member close to us? And I cannot make another G.C.F with you as the main character? Alright." Jungkook resigns and stood up. Bowing to Bang PD and leaving the room without being dismissed. Jimin sighed inaudibly and waits for the sign that the meeting has ended before dashing out the room and catching up to Jungkook who despite leaving the room a minute ahead will not go very far without waiting for him. _

_ "Hey~" Jimin started as soon as he caught up, the younger not turning to face him. Not wanting him to see how disappointed he is. "Uhm.. Namjoonie hyung had something else to talk about with PD-nim. We should go home." _

 

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

So it goes on like that, unable to show affection whenever he wants to. Seeing Jimin interact with the other members 'normally' without being given restrictions. It irks him to no end. Why can't they have their 'normal' interactions? "Because, Jungkook, your level of normal interactions with Jimin isn't for everyone to see." Hoseok told him once, when the older noticed his tongue-in-cheek action, obviously a sign of jealousy. The older male giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

Jungkook ruffles his hair in frustration, walking away and sulking on the corner to wait until all of their schedules are done and he can pull Jimin on the side.

 

"Hyung~" grabbing Jimin by the arm and pausing on the hall right after they exit the stage. The fading noise from the fan signing crowd is being drowned by the sound of Jungkook's heartbeats as he tries to assemble his sentence. "You haven't even glanced my way since the event started." Although he intended to be firm, it came out as a whine and the older just breaks into an eye smile and ruffles his hair.

"What are you saying Ggukie~? I was looking at you a lot today." Jimin just laughs and starts walking again, knowing that Jungkook would be right behind him. "Ask the members, they almost drag me away every time we get a little closer." He said this with a soft chuckle effectively masking how he's really hurt by all of it too.

_What was he supposed to do? He loves Jungkook, yes. And sometimes, he just wants to shut everyone off and listen to his heart and how he wants to be with the latter every damn second of every damn day. But he's never one to think of himself first. He wants to hold him and he wants to be held by him and sometimes it gets so hard to suppress._

 

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

On most night since Jungkook had his own room, on nights when he isn't too busy working over time he'd crawl into Jimin's bed and would fall asleep to the older humming a lullaby and petting his hair gently. And he never asked for permission to do so. This night, however, he felt as if the older had been avoiding him and he'd been anxious to talk to Jimin if only he doesn't have a deadline for this new song. Once he was done, he grabbed his phone and quickly types in a message  _"Hyung, are you still awake?"_

 

Jimin reads the message and wondered why the boy needs to ask when he knows that the older rarely sleeps early. He thought about not replying and pretending to be asleep though but curiosity got him and he typed back.  _"Yes. Are you done with the song?"_ He replied, keeping the conversation about anything but them.

_"Yes, hyung. Can we talk?"_ Jungkook, already getting up from his seat and out of his room to get to Jimin's.

_"Yeah sure. Is it about the choreography for the special performance?"_ There he goes again.

A knock on the door broke him out of his thoughts and he stood up by the third, finding Jungkook in his usual hoodie and sweatpants. It took a moment before the younger boy had a hand on his wrist, gently pulling him out of the room and into the hallway, quietly walking ahead and half dragging him until they were completely out of the dorm.  They sat on a bench on the rooftop of the dorms and neither one looks at each other.  _"No, Jiminie. It's not about the choreography or anything else. I want to talk about us."_

_"Ah~ are you feeling stressed, Ggukie?"_ Jimin reached out to rub the younger's nape, a gesture that seemed so natural now. But as if the boy's skin is made of ice, he withdrew his hand faster than he reached out. He felt his heart clench when the younger looked at him with glassy eyes and a hurt expression.

_"Are you not allowed to touch me now too?"_  Jungkook inquired, a voice barely breaking as he find answers in Jimin's being distant.

The blonde felt like he's being choked and as good as he is with words, he doesn't seem to know how to answer the question without getting the other boy more hurt.  _"No... No, it's not like that, Jungkook-ah~ I just..."_  He's thought of it more than he would admit but of course they can't just avoid it forever.  _"I think we should stop."_

Not knowing what to do is a scary thing for Jungkook. Losing Jimin is the scariest. He blinks a few times, doing a head tilt to see if he didn't just hear it from his own head until Jimin repeated it for him.

_ "I think we should stop seeing each other this way."  _ The older mumbled, hesitant, but Jungkook heard it as clear as the sound of thunder starting in the distance.  _"I mean... we see each other every single day but... you know what I mean."_

_"No. Jimin, I don't know exactly what you mean. We are fine, right?"_ The truth is, they're not fine. It's just something that the younger refuses to acknowledge. It's not like him to cry either, but seeing Jimin looking unaffected made him choke on a sob, running back towards the rooftop exit and locking himself in his room. He should've known better, though. The amount of courage it took for the older to let this out.

And like a cliche from an old romance movie, the rain began to fall as soon as Jungkook was out of sight. Leaving Jimin sinking to his knees, the reality heavily drowning him like his tears getting lost in the raindrops. He sobbed there for what feels like hours, long after the rain stopped until a groggy Taehyung in his pajamas found him and guided him back and coaxed him into a warm shower and literally putting him to bed. His best friend going as far as making up excuses as to why Jimin's face is bloated the next day.

> It wasn't the end, like for everyone of them, it's just the beginning. They still have each other, just not the way both of them wanted. They learned to settle for what they can have rather than not having it at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts. Random thoughts.


End file.
